When a man picks up that a woman is lying to him, or has been lying to him, the first thing that will cross his mind is that she is deceitful. No one appreciates being lied to, and lies make it difficult to build trust between one another. There’s a quote that says, “One lie is enough to question the truth.” 

However, most people don’t realize that there are gender differences when it comes to lying. When women lie, the motive behind the lie is likely to be entirely different compared to when a man lies. 

The following study shows that men resort to selfish lies more so than women. This experiment confirmed that men’s lies are more self-oriented, whereas women’s lies are more other-oriented. Meaning, a woman is likely to lie for the benefit of the other person, even if it’s at a loss to them. 

Below are 6 reasons why she is lying to you. 

To see how you’d react

Sometimes women lie to see how you’d respond or react to certain situations. For example, she might say, “I think I’m pregnant,” to see if you’d be excited or whether you’d ghost her. Or she might say, “I can’t make it for our date tonight,” to see if you’re a patient man, or if you’re easily angered. 

To hide their past

Sometimes women lie to hide their past. Most women are typically not willing to openly share specific details about their sex life, or past relationships, with men. Some studies show one of the common lies women make in a relationship, is the number of sexual partners they’ve had. 

Women are more sensitive to social expectations concerning their sexual behavior. They are more pressured to appear more desirable in a relationship, than appear promiscuous. As such, they are likely to hide their past, especially their sexual past. 

Not to embarrass the man

The third reason women may lie is to not embarrass a man. For instance, a woman may fake satisfaction in bed, if the man is not performing well. She may also lie in other ways to protect his dignity. 

To protect herself 

We all lie for self-preservation from time to time. However, women are likely to do it when they feel that their partner may become aggressive or violent if she reveals something. 

To save herself from embarrassment

The fifth reason why women lie is to save themselves from embarrassment. For instance, issues around health or hygiene. 

Saving oneself from embarrassment is one of the many serious lies people make in everyday life. A woman would often lie to avoid a socially awkward situation, or to avoid answering a question she may find embarrassing. 

For you to get the best impression

This issue is common in online dating and first-time meetings. Women are likely to lie about their physical features, or certain aspects of their lives, to appear desirable. The couples Institute refers to this as “loving lies” that a partner would engage in to increase coupleness or chances of perceived bonding. 

There are white lies, which society finds acceptable. However, other lies can cause conflict, such as lying about her spending habits. 

Why this is important 

As they say, information is key. Men need to understand why women lie, instead of assuming it’s personal. Thinking that the lie is coming from a place of intentional deception is flawed. 

Often, women lie based on protecting themselves, preserving their identity and self-respect, protecting themselves from embarrassment, or even sometimes protecting the man’s ego. 

When a man understands that the woman is not lying to deceive him, he will be in a better position to create a supportive environment, where she can be more trusting of him. 

An insecure man may feel that she is lying because she’s seeing someone else, or she’s cheating. But there are many reasons why women lie and may have to lie. Yes, lies are never good. But when there’s an understanding of why women lie, one can get a better perspective of the situation. 

In a perfect world, there would be no lies at all. But in reality, lying is expected in a relationship. It doesn’t mean they can’t be damaging. Some lies can really put a strain on a relationship. 

The author of the book, Should I Stay or Should I Go, and licensed clinical psychologist, Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., says that the “big” lies are not so common. 

What most people do in relationships is engage in the “white lies”. Now that you’ve read this article, you understand that women lie too, but the reason she’s lying to you may be entirely different from why you lie.