What characteristics are prevalent in today’s generation? We are a society that struggles with obesity. We are completely integrated into the digital world and crave instant gratification. No doubt there are more positive aspects about our generation, such as being the most active cohort in social causes. Still, most people are hard-wired to opt for the easy way out.

The realities that mark our generation are worse. We’ve hushed the tone on the time-held beliefs of what defines masculinity. This is not the type of masculinity biased against women and children, instead, the focus is on masculinity that goes out of its way to protect and provide. 

The concept of masculinity in today’s society has been largely erased from our collective consciousness. For some time, it has encouraged feminization and demonized what it means to be masculine. A man is now required to be soft and emotional. He must denounce his manly instincts in favor of his feminine traits. But as the man becomes more feminine, the woman is encouraged to be more masculine. 

Hard stuff builds character

By all means, empowering women is integral for a healthy society. However, what ought to be addressed is accommodating and encouraging men to embrace their softer side without communicating the sheer value of doing hard stuff. Hard stuff builds character, whereas soft things weaken it. The soft stuff could involve crying and having a pity party when you lose your job, or playing video games instead of going outside to play sports. The Washington Post stated that government support and assistance from family members contributed to a high percentage of idle men. The government support and benefits have resulted in men aged 25 to 54 appearing better off than many other Americans, including working single mothers. However, millions of men are not actively involved in work or civil life. 

Don’t abandon your masculinity

Lately, everyone is encouraging men to embrace their softer side. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. However, we must be careful not to stop doing the hard stuff that makes you a man. Don’t abandon your masculinity, even though it’s good for you to be expressive. 

Some men have become all too willing to embrace feminine traits. They want to stay home whilst the women work. Some men have no problem with a woman providing for them and their kids. On the other extreme, you have men who religiously adhere to toxic masculinity, with its lack of empathy and hyper-competitiveness. No doubt, we are facing a global crisis of masculinity. The debates on what it means to be masculine in a society hell-bent on feminizing all things male, are endless and controversial. It’s no wonder that Jordan B. Peterson laments that “the west has lost its faith in masculinity.”

One way that the 21st-century man can regain his masculinity is through doing the hard stuff. Hard stuff such as looking for odd jobs to earn a living instead of being dependent, waking up before sunrise for exercise, taking a course that will help you boost your income stream, or putting an end to toxic behavior.

Regain competency and strength 

Hard stuff builds competence and capability. You get to overcome weakness which builds you up as a person. Hard stuff also helps you become aware of yourself. When you struggle to do something, you’re able to look at yourself objectively and ask yourself, “what do I need to do to win this?” In the end, you will grow as a person and become better as an individual. 

Hard stuff helps you stand out. Let’s say there’s an issue at the office, and everyone is avoiding it. If you choose to handle the situation, you will stand out amongst your peers and bosses. You command more respect when you choose to handle difficult situations and you succeed. 

The hard stuff is good for your body and your mind. For instance, if you choose to prepare your meal instead of depending on junk food or takeouts, and you opt for exercise, in the end, you will be physically and mentally healthier. Challenging situations trigger you to brainstorm. When you approach such situations with a calm mind, you will inevitably find a way to overcome the hard stuff. 

Hard stuff adds more value to you. People will begin to look up to you as someone who is not afraid to get things done. 

True masculinity calls for one to believe in oneself. Realize that you have the capacity to provide, protect, and problem-solve. Masculinity is not a birthright. Instead, it is an aspect that’s built through discipline. One way you can build masculinity is by not avoiding the hard stuff that makes you a man.